Yakusoku
by Lina Inverse
Summary: Kenshin, feeling guilty about Tomoe's death, makes a promise to her to repent. Songfic of Linkin Park's "Faint."


Author's Note: Watsuki-sensei owns Rurouni Kenshin and Linkin Park owns "Faint." I wish I could take the credit for making these wonderful works of art, but I can't.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
-I am-  
  
I am a murderer. Simply stated. No longer am I merely a warrior for the Isshin Shishi*. Now, I'm officially a coldblooded murderer, one who would kill his own wife.  
  
-A little bit of loneliness-  
  
I suppose it's fitting that it was my wife that I murdered. Had I murdered somebody I barely know, I would not face the punishment I deserve. To be left alone, missing the woman I love... This is what I deserve.  
  
-A little bit of disregard-  
  
For so long, I mindlessly killed. I took myself as a warrior, nobly killing the enemies of a good cause. Yet now I did not kill my enemy. I killed my love. I cared nothing for the lives I took, blindly assuming that I'd never take a life when it wasn't necessary.  
  
-A handful of complaints-  
  
This guilt, this loneliness. They are so unbearable, but are they even enough punishment?  
  
-But I can't help the fact-  
-That everyone can see these scars-  
  
My face is marred, yet it is infinitely cleaner than my soul. What is this? Guilt, loneliness, and a scar... Is that all the punishment I get for murder? I put a deathly wound in Tomoe's stomach, and all I get is a stupid little slash across my cheek!  
  
-I am-  
-What I want you to want-  
-What I want you to feel-  
  
Tomoe! Why can't our roles be reversed? Why can't I have slashed you in the cheek, then have your knife fly up and strike me in the stomach?** Why do you have to lose your life, while I'm the one who gets to continue on?  
  
-But it's like no matter what I do-  
  
If only I had watched for you! If only my eyes followed my heart, and focused on you!  
  
-I can't convince you-  
-To just believe this is real-  
  
And then here I go, the lowest of criminals, murderer of my own dear wife, perpetrator of a preventable act, walking around with naught but a little scar to show it.  
  
-So I-  
  
I'll show them. I'll prove to everyone what I did.  
  
-Let go-  
  
Seppuku.***  
  
-Watching you-  
  
Tomoe. I'll be with you. The only way to repent for my sin.  
  
-Turn your back like you always do-  
  
No. We must not be together. I do not deserve to be with you.  
  
-Face away and pretend that I'm not-  
  
I'll stick to life. I'll pretend I never so much as considered rejoining you.  
  
-But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got-  
  
I'll stick to this life I don't deserve, if only to deny myself your love. I'll repent for my sin by enduring every lonely that comes.  
  
-I can't feel-  
-The way I did before-  
  
I'll never kill again. I'll never betray another love again.  
  
-Don't turn your back on me-  
  
Tomoe, wait for me in Heaven. One day, I'll join it.  
  
-I won't be ignored-  
  
I'll make it. Yakusoku.****  
  
-Time won't heal-  
-This damage anymore-  
  
I'll never forget this promise. I'll never forget our love. And no matter how much I do to repent, my heart will tear me apart from missing you. Time will never heal the hole in my heart that I carved as surely, as deeply, as painfully, as when my sword carved into you.  
  
-Don't turn your back on me-  
-I won't be ignored-  
  
Tomoe. I WILL join you in Heaven some day. I don't care if it's impossible for a cold murderer. I'll stay so true to my word that I'll do the impossible.  
  
-I am-  
-A little bit insecure-  
  
Hah. What a fool I am, though. Thinking that I can do the impossible.  
  
-A little unconfident-  
  
I couldn't stop myself from killing you. How can I stop myself from killing anyone else?  
  
-'Cause you don't understand-  
-I do what I can-  
-But sometimes I don't make sense-  
  
But just because I can't do it doesn't mean I can't try. And even though I know I'll fail, it doesn't mean I can't partially make up for my crime.  
  
-I am-  
  
Yakusoku.  
  
-What you never want to say-  
  
There may never be a Kenshin worth being with you.  
  
-But I've never had a doubt-  
  
But what does it matter? I made you a promise, and I'll stick to it.  
  
-It's like no matter what I do-  
  
What does it matter that I'll fail? I made you a promise, and I'll stick to it.  
  
-I can't convice you-  
  
What does it matter that I'll never see you again? I made you a promise, and I'll stick to it.  
  
-For once just to hear me out-  
  
No. Matter. What. I'll stick to the promise.  
  
-So I-  
-Let go-  
-Watching you-  
-Turn your back like you always do-  
-Face away and pretend that I'm not-  
-But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got-  
  
-I can't feel-  
-The way I did before-  
-Don't turn your back on me-  
-I won't be ignored-  
-Time won't heal  
-This damage anymore-  
-Don't turn your back on me-  
-I won't be ignored-  
  
Seppuku would be so easy. (To think! Getting impaled by my own blade, easy!)  
  
-No-  
  
But I made you a promise.  
  
-Hear me out now-  
  
And I'll stick to it.  
  
-You're going to listen to me-  
  
I'll stick to it!  
  
-Like it or not-  
  
I made you a promise!  
  
-Right now-  
-Hear me out now-  
  
And I'll stick to it!  
  
-You're going to listen to me-  
-Like it or not-  
  
~Finished.  
  
*The Isshin Shishi is the group that Kenshin fought for. They supported the Meiji Revolution.  
**I know, in the OVAs Tomoe physically makes the mark on Kenshin's cheek, but in the manga, her knife flew out of her hand and hit him on the cheek.  
***Ritual suicides performed by samurai who have betrayed their masters.  
****Yakosoku is Japanese for a promise. 


End file.
